The Stephens Family Rocks: Portraits

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Quotable Kids

The daily homework battle with Asher was getting frustrating...
Mom: "Asher, will you PLEASE just behave and do your homework?!"
Asher looks down with a very sad look on his face.
Mom: "What's the matter, buddy? I'm not angry at you, just frustrated."
Asher, very seriously: "But, Mommy, if I behave that means I will have to change who I am! Because I don't WANT to behave, I want to play. Does that mean you don't like who I am, Mommy?"
Mom: "Asher, I LOVE who you are. I think you are wonderful! I just really need you to obey."
--Asher, age 7.5

"Mommy, I always want to be with you everywhere you go!"
--Cambria, age 6

While watching a movie...
"Eww, that really yuckies me out!"
--Cambria, age 4.5

Asher climbs into a laundry basket, and Uncle Drew playfully dumps him out...
"Is that the way you treat a lady?!"
--Asher, age 6

Asher tries to grab a pot on the stove...
Mom: "Asher, please don't grab that pot. I don't want you to get hurt!"
Asher: "But, Mooom! I know how to cook! I've played Cooking Mama lots of times!"
--Asher, age 6

Derk: "Asher, will you close the blinds?"
Asher: "UGH! It's always 'Asher this' and 'Asher that'!"
--Asher, age 6

While combing his hair one morning--
Asher: "Mom, WHY did God give me a cowlick? He should know I do NOT like cowlicks!!!"
--Asher, age 6

"That was SO heelarious!"
--Cambria, age 4

"Mom, look what I can spell! P-o-o p-o-o! That spells poo poo! *singing* I can spell poo poo, I can spell poo poo!"
--Asher, age 5.5

Asher, while pointing to a boy in his grade that has long hair--
"Mom, do you know what? That's a BOY!"
--Asher, age 5.5

Cambria: "What's that building, Mama?"
Mom: "That's Olive Garden."
Cambria: "Oh! Olive Garden makes me HAPPY!"
--Cambria, almost 4

Asher: "Mama, Daddy's mom's name is Jean."
Mom: "That's right."
Asher: "But what's my Nana's name?"
Mom: "Her name is Beth."
Asher: (laughing) "That's a really funny name!"
--Asher, age 5

Cambria: "Guess what, Asher? My mommy and your daddy are going on a date tonight!"
--Bri, age 3.5

Cambria: "Daddy, will you cut this bagel like they cut babies out of Mommy's tummy?"
--Bri, age 3.5

Cambria: "Mom, will you paint my nail fingers?"
--Bri, age 3.5

Derk wakes up and notices Asher and Cambria are in bed with us--
Derk: "This bed isn't big enough for this many people!"
Asher: "Yeah, you should tell Bri to get out!"
--Asher, age 5

Bri shows Mom how high she can throw a ball--
Mom: "Wow, Bri! Great job!"
Bri: "It took me years to practice!"
--Cambria, age 3.5

After Bri was being especially ornery--
Mom: "When is my sweet girl going to come back? I miss her!"
Bri: "In 4 days!!"
--Cambria, age 3.5

"I want my hair poky!"
--Asher, age 5

As we were sitting down to breakfast...
"I want to say the opening prayer!"
--Asher, age 5

Mom: "Bri, it's time to leave. Let Isis go, and let's go strap you into your car seat."
Cambria: "Mom, can't you see we're having a conversation here???"
--Cambria, age 3.5

Cambria: "Asher, Isis says she wants to sleep!"
Asher: "Bri, you don't understand her language!"
--Asher, age 5 & Cambria, age 3.5

Mom: "Cambria, are you ready for lunch?"
Cambria: "Yes, I fink (think) so!"
--Cambria, age 3.5

"I love you, Mama-do!"
--Cambria, age 3.5

At the end of his personal prayer one night...
Asher: "And Heavenly Father, please help me to be super strong like the Hulk. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."
--Asher, age 5

Kyrie: "Hey, guys! Should we play a board game?"
Cambria: "Um, I'm afraid not!"
--Cambria, age 3

Kyrie: "Daddy, when I turn 14 I'm going to find the man I'm going to marry. And he's going to be as handsome as you!"
--Kyrie, age 8

Asher: "Mama, Daddy is my Daddy Dude."
Mom: "I know he is, Buddy."
Asher: "And, Mama? You're my Mama Dude!"
--Asher, age 5

While waiting at Sonic to get limeades:
Asher: "Dad, why do they call it 'Happy Hour'?"
Derk: "Because it makes us happy that limeades are half price, I guess."
Asher: "What comes after Happy Hour? Sad Hour?"
--Asher, almost 5

"I keep asking Heavenly Father to give me a Fairy Godmother so I can become a Super Hero!"
--Asher, age 4.5

"Mommy, Asher can't hear you because he's death."
--Kyrie, age 8

Mom: "Bri, what's taking you so long?"
Bri: "I'm coming. I'm just having issues!"
--Cambria, age 3

"Mommy! Today is the day before the day before my performance!"
--Kyrie, age 8

"I want my shaky baby!" (her security blanket that makes a rattle noise)
--Cambria, age 3

"Mama, what are those jiggly things?" (breasts, lol)
--Cambria, age 3

Mom: "Bri, where are your new church shoes?"
Bri: "I don't know! I haven't seen them for years and years!"
--Bri, age 3

Mom: "Cambria, will you please go put this away in your room?"
Cambria: "Yes, Your Majesty!"
--Cambria, age 3

While getting ready for church--
"I'm a BUMBLEBEE (Sunbeam) today, Mommy!"
--Cambria, age 3

"Mommy, you go put this in the sink and then come right back, okay?"
--Cambria, age 3

"Daddy, Santa is NOT bringing you a present this year because you're being mean to us!"
--Asher, age 4.5

Mom: "Bri, can I have a kiss?"
Bri: "Only if you give me a lollipop!"
--Bri, age 3

Kyrie: "Mom, what does 'maiden name' mean?"
Mom: "That means what my last name was before I married your dad."
Kyrie: "Ohh, I get it! They call it 'maiden name' because Daddy rescued you from your old last name!"
--Kyrie, almost 8

Asher: "MOM, WILL YOU COME WIPE ME?!"
Mom: "Can't you just wipe yourself, Bud? Daddy showed you how."
Asher: "No, Mom! Don't you know I have short arms?!"
--Asher, age 4.5

"Daddy, you're my bro!"
--Asher, age 4.5

"Mommy, my shirt is SNAZZY!"
--Cambria, age 3

While watching me make a pumpkin pie--
Asher: "Are you putting pumpkin guts in that pie?!"
Mom: "Nope, it's pumpkin puree."
Asher: "Pumpkin KYRIE?!?!"
--Asher, age 4.5

Mom: "Bri, what do you want for dinner?"
Bri: "Ummmm.......a tiger!!!"
--Cambria, almost 3

After getting her back scratched:
"That was PHENOMENAL!"
--Kyrie, age 7.5

"Mom, this drink was on the auto man (ottoman). Is it yours?"
--Kyrie, age 7.5

Mom: "Bri, why did you take your hair out?"
Bri: "I didn't!"
Mom: "You didn't? Then who did?"
Bri: "A bunny rabbit!"
--Cambria, age 2.5

"Mom, will you take your shoes off? Please? I'll give you a lollipop!"
--Cambria, 2.5

"Mom, the baby needs his castle fire (pacifier)!"
--Cambria, age 2.5

"This fettuccine is really alafredoed!"
--Kyrie, age 7.5

"Mommy, I need the moffiter. I have a feber."
--Cambria, age 2.5

While hiking....
Mom: "Asher, you rock! You're doing great!"
Asher: (giving me a very serious look) "I know I rock, Mom. I'm totally awesome!"
--Asher, age 4

Asher: "Do you have a dollar so I can get a soda?"
Mom: "Sorry, Buddy, I don't have any money on me."
Asher: "It doesn't cost money, Mom, it costs a dollar!"
--Asher, age 4

While looking up at the sky--
"Look, a rhino (Orion)!"
--Asher, age 4

"That didn't just hurt, it JUMBO hurt!"
--Kyrie, age 7

Asher gets caught in the living room at 10:30pm...
Mom: "What are you doing, Asher? You're supposed to be in bed!"
Asher: "I had to do my exercises, Mom!"
--Asher, age 4

Bri: "Where's Daddy?"
Mom: "He's at work."
Bri: "Why?"
Mom: "So we can make money, baby."
Bri: "For Chuck E. Cheese?!"
--Cambria, age 2

"Wait up, Dad! I'm not as young as I used to be!"
--Asher, age 4

"Look, Mom! It's Brock Abombom!" (Barack Obama)
--Asher, almost 4

"Mommy, I don't have school tomorrow because it's Veterinarian Day!"
--Kyrie, age 6.5

"Mommy, if you let me bite your finger, you can be in my club!"
--Asher, age 3

Mommy: "I want to take a picture of my 3 babies!"
Asher: "I'm not your baby! I'm Batman!"
--Asher, age 3 1/2

Mom: "Bri, are you going to eat any more of your lunch?"
Bri: "No."
Mom: "Why?"
Bri: "Cuz!"
--Cambria, age 21 months

Mom: "Asher, come down and have some lunch!"
Asher: "Nah, I think it's probably too slobbery!"
--Asher, age 3

"Mommy! You have to stop kissing me! It's getting on my nerves!"
--Asher, age 3

Asher: "Daddy, I want you to go faster!"
Kyrie: "He can't go faster, Asher! He has to obey the speed lemon!"
--Kyrie, age 6

Asher, talking to Cambria after she'd climbed out of the playpen: "How'd you get out, you little stinker?"
--Asher, age 3

"My Daddy is the sweetest man in the whole wide world."
--Kyrie, age 6

"Mama, I like my Daddy. I like him. Very much."
--Asher, age 3

Cambria: "I want down!"
Mom: "Okay, get down then!"
Cambria: "Why?"
--Cambria, 20 months

Asher, after copying Daddy absent-mindedly tapping on his laptop: "Can we stop tapping yet, Daddy?"
--Asher, age 3

"Good job vacuuming the living room, Mom! Now you get a treat!"
--Asher, age 3

Kyrie: "Asher, stop dawdling!"
Asher: "I'm not dobbling, Keeyay!"
--Kyrie, age 6 and Asher, age 3

"I know why I can't keep my room clean, Mom! Because I have a serious problem!"
--Kyrie, age 6

"Look, Daddy! When I sit on your head, you can't see your book! Ha ha ha!"
--Asher, age 3

"Yay! Yay! Bobos! (bubbles)"
--Cambria, 19 months

"How'd you get so cute, Mom?"
--Asher, age 3

"Can we buy this, Mom?
"No."
"But, Mom! It has 12 vitamins and minerals in it!"
--Kyrie, age 6

"Mom, I want to tell you a question!"
-- Asher, age 3

"Okay, I'll clean my room. But I'll only clean 2 halves today and then do the rest tomorrow, okay, Mom?"
-- Kyrie, age 6

"I know lots of things, Asher! I know, uh, like 3 things!"
-- Kyrie, age 6

"I'm Super Duper Flying Asher!"
-- Asher, age 3

"I can't go to bed now, Mommy! My eyelashes hurt!"
-- Kyrie, age 6

"Mommy, my pee comes out of my reefruh!"
-- Asher, age 2

"Mommy, we learned about constipation today at school! It's part of the water cycle!"
-- Kyrie, age 5

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Two year old portrait

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