The Stephens Family Rocks: Derk Stephens, NCSP

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Derk Stephens, NCSP

Yesterday afternoon, Derk got his final certification in the mail! He is now a Nationally Certified School Psychologist and was very excited to show off his certificate, even asking me to put it on the blog (and he HATES having his picture taken, so that's saying something!).

Way to go, Derk!!

Quotable Kids

The daily homework battle with Asher was getting frustrating...
Mom: "Asher, will you PLEASE just behave and do your homework?!"
Asher looks down with a very sad look on his face.
Mom: "What's the matter, buddy? I'm not angry at you, just frustrated."
Asher, very seriously: "But, Mommy, if I behave that means I will have to change who I am! Because I don't WANT to behave, I want to play. Does that mean you don't like who I am, Mommy?"
Mom: "Asher, I LOVE who you are. I think you are wonderful! I just really need you to obey."
--Asher, age 7.5

"Mommy, I always want to be with you everywhere you go!"
--Cambria, age 6

While watching a movie...
"Eww, that really yuckies me out!"
--Cambria, age 4.5

Asher climbs into a laundry basket, and Uncle Drew playfully dumps him out...
"Is that the way you treat a lady?!"
--Asher, age 6

Asher tries to grab a pot on the stove...
Mom: "Asher, please don't grab that pot. I don't want you to get hurt!"
Asher: "But, Mooom! I know how to cook! I've played Cooking Mama lots of times!"
--Asher, age 6

Derk: "Asher, will you close the blinds?"
Asher: "UGH! It's always 'Asher this' and 'Asher that'!"
--Asher, age 6

While combing his hair one morning--
Asher: "Mom, WHY did God give me a cowlick? He should know I do NOT like cowlicks!!!"
--Asher, age 6

"That was SO heelarious!"
--Cambria, age 4

"Mom, look what I can spell! P-o-o p-o-o! That spells poo poo! *singing* I can spell poo poo, I can spell poo poo!"
--Asher, age 5.5

Asher, while pointing to a boy in his grade that has long hair--
"Mom, do you know what? That's a BOY!"
--Asher, age 5.5

Cambria: "What's that building, Mama?"
Mom: "That's Olive Garden."
Cambria: "Oh! Olive Garden makes me HAPPY!"
--Cambria, almost 4

Asher: "Mama, Daddy's mom's name is Jean."
Mom: "That's right."
Asher: "But what's my Nana's name?"
Mom: "Her name is Beth."
Asher: (laughing) "That's a really funny name!"
--Asher, age 5

Cambria: "Guess what, Asher? My mommy and your daddy are going on a date tonight!"
--Bri, age 3.5

Cambria: "Daddy, will you cut this bagel like they cut babies out of Mommy's tummy?"
--Bri, age 3.5

Cambria: "Mom, will you paint my nail fingers?"
--Bri, age 3.5

Derk wakes up and notices Asher and Cambria are in bed with us--
Derk: "This bed isn't big enough for this many people!"
Asher: "Yeah, you should tell Bri to get out!"
--Asher, age 5

Bri shows Mom how high she can throw a ball--
Mom: "Wow, Bri! Great job!"
Bri: "It took me years to practice!"
--Cambria, age 3.5

After Bri was being especially ornery--
Mom: "When is my sweet girl going to come back? I miss her!"
Bri: "In 4 days!!"
--Cambria, age 3.5

"I want my hair poky!"
--Asher, age 5

As we were sitting down to breakfast...
"I want to say the opening prayer!"
--Asher, age 5

Mom: "Bri, it's time to leave. Let Isis go, and let's go strap you into your car seat."
Cambria: "Mom, can't you see we're having a conversation here???"
--Cambria, age 3.5

Cambria: "Asher, Isis says she wants to sleep!"
Asher: "Bri, you don't understand her language!"
--Asher, age 5 & Cambria, age 3.5

Mom: "Cambria, are you ready for lunch?"
Cambria: "Yes, I fink (think) so!"
--Cambria, age 3.5

"I love you, Mama-do!"
--Cambria, age 3.5

At the end of his personal prayer one night...
Asher: "And Heavenly Father, please help me to be super strong like the Hulk. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."
--Asher, age 5

Kyrie: "Hey, guys! Should we play a board game?"
Cambria: "Um, I'm afraid not!"
--Cambria, age 3

Kyrie: "Daddy, when I turn 14 I'm going to find the man I'm going to marry. And he's going to be as handsome as you!"
--Kyrie, age 8

Asher: "Mama, Daddy is my Daddy Dude."
Mom: "I know he is, Buddy."
Asher: "And, Mama? You're my Mama Dude!"
--Asher, age 5

While waiting at Sonic to get limeades:
Asher: "Dad, why do they call it 'Happy Hour'?"
Derk: "Because it makes us happy that limeades are half price, I guess."
Asher: "What comes after Happy Hour? Sad Hour?"
--Asher, almost 5

"I keep asking Heavenly Father to give me a Fairy Godmother so I can become a Super Hero!"
--Asher, age 4.5

"Mommy, Asher can't hear you because he's death."
--Kyrie, age 8

Mom: "Bri, what's taking you so long?"
Bri: "I'm coming. I'm just having issues!"
--Cambria, age 3

"Mommy! Today is the day before the day before my performance!"
--Kyrie, age 8

"I want my shaky baby!" (her security blanket that makes a rattle noise)
--Cambria, age 3

"Mama, what are those jiggly things?" (breasts, lol)
--Cambria, age 3

Mom: "Bri, where are your new church shoes?"
Bri: "I don't know! I haven't seen them for years and years!"
--Bri, age 3

Mom: "Cambria, will you please go put this away in your room?"
Cambria: "Yes, Your Majesty!"
--Cambria, age 3

While getting ready for church--
"I'm a BUMBLEBEE (Sunbeam) today, Mommy!"
--Cambria, age 3

"Mommy, you go put this in the sink and then come right back, okay?"
--Cambria, age 3

"Daddy, Santa is NOT bringing you a present this year because you're being mean to us!"
--Asher, age 4.5

Mom: "Bri, can I have a kiss?"
Bri: "Only if you give me a lollipop!"
--Bri, age 3

Kyrie: "Mom, what does 'maiden name' mean?"
Mom: "That means what my last name was before I married your dad."
Kyrie: "Ohh, I get it! They call it 'maiden name' because Daddy rescued you from your old last name!"
--Kyrie, almost 8

Asher: "MOM, WILL YOU COME WIPE ME?!"
Mom: "Can't you just wipe yourself, Bud? Daddy showed you how."
Asher: "No, Mom! Don't you know I have short arms?!"
--Asher, age 4.5

"Daddy, you're my bro!"
--Asher, age 4.5

"Mommy, my shirt is SNAZZY!"
--Cambria, age 3

While watching me make a pumpkin pie--
Asher: "Are you putting pumpkin guts in that pie?!"
Mom: "Nope, it's pumpkin puree."
Asher: "Pumpkin KYRIE?!?!"
--Asher, age 4.5

Mom: "Bri, what do you want for dinner?"
Bri: "Ummmm.......a tiger!!!"
--Cambria, almost 3

After getting her back scratched:
"That was PHENOMENAL!"
--Kyrie, age 7.5

"Mom, this drink was on the auto man (ottoman). Is it yours?"
--Kyrie, age 7.5

Mom: "Bri, why did you take your hair out?"
Bri: "I didn't!"
Mom: "You didn't? Then who did?"
Bri: "A bunny rabbit!"
--Cambria, age 2.5

"Mom, will you take your shoes off? Please? I'll give you a lollipop!"
--Cambria, 2.5

"Mom, the baby needs his castle fire (pacifier)!"
--Cambria, age 2.5

"This fettuccine is really alafredoed!"
--Kyrie, age 7.5

"Mommy, I need the moffiter. I have a feber."
--Cambria, age 2.5

While hiking....
Mom: "Asher, you rock! You're doing great!"
Asher: (giving me a very serious look) "I know I rock, Mom. I'm totally awesome!"
--Asher, age 4

Asher: "Do you have a dollar so I can get a soda?"
Mom: "Sorry, Buddy, I don't have any money on me."
Asher: "It doesn't cost money, Mom, it costs a dollar!"
--Asher, age 4

While looking up at the sky--
"Look, a rhino (Orion)!"
--Asher, age 4

"That didn't just hurt, it JUMBO hurt!"
--Kyrie, age 7

Asher gets caught in the living room at 10:30pm...
Mom: "What are you doing, Asher? You're supposed to be in bed!"
Asher: "I had to do my exercises, Mom!"
--Asher, age 4

Bri: "Where's Daddy?"
Mom: "He's at work."
Bri: "Why?"
Mom: "So we can make money, baby."
Bri: "For Chuck E. Cheese?!"
--Cambria, age 2

"Wait up, Dad! I'm not as young as I used to be!"
--Asher, age 4

"Look, Mom! It's Brock Abombom!" (Barack Obama)
--Asher, almost 4

"Mommy, I don't have school tomorrow because it's Veterinarian Day!"
--Kyrie, age 6.5

"Mommy, if you let me bite your finger, you can be in my club!"
--Asher, age 3

Mommy: "I want to take a picture of my 3 babies!"
Asher: "I'm not your baby! I'm Batman!"
--Asher, age 3 1/2

Mom: "Bri, are you going to eat any more of your lunch?"
Bri: "No."
Mom: "Why?"
Bri: "Cuz!"
--Cambria, age 21 months

Mom: "Asher, come down and have some lunch!"
Asher: "Nah, I think it's probably too slobbery!"
--Asher, age 3

"Mommy! You have to stop kissing me! It's getting on my nerves!"
--Asher, age 3

Asher: "Daddy, I want you to go faster!"
Kyrie: "He can't go faster, Asher! He has to obey the speed lemon!"
--Kyrie, age 6

Asher, talking to Cambria after she'd climbed out of the playpen: "How'd you get out, you little stinker?"
--Asher, age 3

"My Daddy is the sweetest man in the whole wide world."
--Kyrie, age 6

"Mama, I like my Daddy. I like him. Very much."
--Asher, age 3

Cambria: "I want down!"
Mom: "Okay, get down then!"
Cambria: "Why?"
--Cambria, 20 months

Asher, after copying Daddy absent-mindedly tapping on his laptop: "Can we stop tapping yet, Daddy?"
--Asher, age 3

"Good job vacuuming the living room, Mom! Now you get a treat!"
--Asher, age 3

Kyrie: "Asher, stop dawdling!"
Asher: "I'm not dobbling, Keeyay!"
--Kyrie, age 6 and Asher, age 3

"I know why I can't keep my room clean, Mom! Because I have a serious problem!"
--Kyrie, age 6

"Look, Daddy! When I sit on your head, you can't see your book! Ha ha ha!"
--Asher, age 3

"Yay! Yay! Bobos! (bubbles)"
--Cambria, 19 months

"How'd you get so cute, Mom?"
--Asher, age 3

"Can we buy this, Mom?
"No."
"But, Mom! It has 12 vitamins and minerals in it!"
--Kyrie, age 6

"Mom, I want to tell you a question!"
-- Asher, age 3

"Okay, I'll clean my room. But I'll only clean 2 halves today and then do the rest tomorrow, okay, Mom?"
-- Kyrie, age 6

"I know lots of things, Asher! I know, uh, like 3 things!"
-- Kyrie, age 6

"I'm Super Duper Flying Asher!"
-- Asher, age 3

"I can't go to bed now, Mommy! My eyelashes hurt!"
-- Kyrie, age 6

"Mommy, my pee comes out of my reefruh!"
-- Asher, age 2

"Mommy, we learned about constipation today at school! It's part of the water cycle!"
-- Kyrie, age 5

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Derk Stephens, NCSP

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